How It All Started

April 2014

On one of our first dates, I remember handing John (my husband) a piece of paper and asking him to write down 10 things he wanted to do before he died. Thinking back on it now, and knowing how long-term planning isn't his favorite thing ever, I think it probably started because we were talking and he couldn't think of things he wanted to do.  I, on the other hand, could fill at least 10 pieces of paper with all of the things I want(ed) to do in a lifetime, it's the actually-making-it-happen part that's harder for me.  I can plan things forever, but what I really long for is to DO them. 

I don't remember much that was on my own paper that day, though I know the list was long.  But there's one thing that I know clearly: Own a Flower Farm was on that list.  It's been in my head as this romantic, idealized thought as long as I can remember and somewhere along the line I just shoved it to the back of my head and into the category of "things I'll never really be able to do."  On one of our first dates we drove past a farm that had a hand-painted sign out front that said, "Cut-Your-Own-Flowers" and I just looked at it and thought, "This. This is where I want to live my life." 

Fast forward 11 years to now.  3 apartments, 1 house, a marriage, 2 kids and 7 chickens later, we're in an in-between spot in life.  That point where we actually have choices about how we want to move forward.  So we decided that I'd start job hunting over the past few months.  And it has just felt weird.  So I tried to think of things that didn't feel weird and it all kept coming back to growing flowers.

But, in the back of my mind was this, "What if...?"

What if....we used the space in our backyard to grow tons of flowers?

What if....we ask around a little bit to see if anyone might be actually interested in flowers?

What if...we add more garden space just to dedicate to intensive flower planting for the summer?

What if...this might actually work??

I know it's crazy.  I know that I have so, so many things to learn and that the learning curve will be steep. But, I can tell you this: It feels right. It feels good.  It feels like doing something deep in my heart that's supposed to be and that feels like a really good way to live life.  

And here we are.  The dirt has been shoveled and we're finishing the second space for flowers. The seeds are purchases, some are started inside and anxiously awaiting the sunshine outside. The plan is in ink on paper. We're actually doing this! It might not be a huge space, but it's enough.  Enough to start and to do this. 

Not too long ago, one of my very favorite people in the whole world started talking about baby birds.  Not actual birds, but those tiny little things that live so deeply in your heart that you want to protect them because you're scared to let them fly out into the world. The things that mean so much to you that you're afraid no one else will get, will laugh at, will think you're crazy for trying.  Will say, "Here she goes again..." with an eye roll.  

Except it's not everyone else who's saying these things. Well, they could be, but "they" don't really matter. It's my inner critic that gets me and keeps me from putting my baby birds out into the world.

Pine Street Flowers is my baby bird.  

Want to join the adventure?  There are still some subscriptions left for the summer! (more info here.) Or head over to the Pine Street Flowers page on Facebook to follow along as we grow this tiny backyard flower farm into something lovely over the course of the next 6 months!